Transcriptions below the fold
Paige has been having a nightmare induced by the Nutcracker Ballet.
Paige: Who are you?
Mom: I'm thet sugar-free plum fairy.
Paige: I thought this part of the ballet had lots of desserts and candies in it.
Mom: Yes, well, more sensible heads prevailed, thank goodness. Gone are the dances about chocolates and candy canes. Instead, I shall perform to music inspired by lima beans, cauliflower, and other nutritional foods.
Paige: All I hear are crickets chirping.
Mom: Those are piccolos, I'm sure.
Obituary: Herbert Hitchcock, owner of Herb's Herbs & All-Natural Supplements, died yesterday of all-natural causes.