Calvin, have I got an answer for you:
Nelson: Grandpa, are you obese?
Grandpa: Obese? No, I'm not obese.
(Nelson jiggles Grandpa's belly)
Grandpa: I'm squishy, but I'm NOT obese.
Cul de Sac
Kid 1: I told Miss Bliss about the puppets losing their heads. She said, "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade."
Not ME! I'd throw those lemons back in Life's face and say, "Do I LOOK like I eat fruit? Give me something artificially flavored!" Phooey!
Frank & Ernest
Ernest: Frank, this article says people overeat because it takes 20 minutes for the brain to get the message that the stomach has been filled! It says before you feel like you've eaten enough, tell your brain that you're satisfied and it's time to stop eating!
Frank: I can't do that -- it's considered bad manners to talk with your mouth full.
Man in trenchcoat: The Zorgons have inflitrated fast-food restaurants. Their plan to fatten humanity will FAIL if mankind can only demonstrate some restraint.
Zorgon: Want to try our food hose? It pressure-injects wads of meat and cheese down your throat.
Customer: Hook me up!
Calvin & Hobbes
Calvin: I never liked ice cream cones too much until I discovered a new way to eat them. I bite off the bottom of the cone and suck out the ice cream as it gets soft. You wouldn't believe some of the awful noises you can make, and it gets pretty sloppy when the cone gets soggy and both ends start dripping. In MY book, food should be nutrition AND entertainment.
Hobbes: That's why we tigers like our food surprised and running.
Basic Instructions: How to point out what "They" Should Do
Narrator: Your problems seem complicated to you. Other people's problems almost always seem much simpler.
Scott: Cooking shows try to make gourmet food less intimidating, but it doesn't work.
Friend: I know! No matter how many obscenities Gordon Ramsay screams, I don't get any less intimidated.
Narrator: From your position as a disinterested observer, the solutions to other people's problems often seem obvious.
Scott: They should do a show where they serve people steak, Jell-O and grits, and then tell them afterwards that it was filet, aspic and polenta, because really, it was. It'd be called "Guess What You Ate!"
Friend: I'd never go on a show with that name, but I'd watch it every week.